I have material comfort. I am financially blessed. I write this article while sitting in a coffee shop surrounded by my $5 coffee, my $200 Kindle Fire, my $300 Netbook, my $200 smart phone, my $40 purse with a $60 wallet inside (don’t ask) carrying 2 debit cards with access to a couple grand.
I want to feel appreciative for all that I have been given, but it also makes me sick in the depths of my soul.
I was made for more than this. I know it in the deepest parts of me. When God, “knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13) He had bigger dreams for me. Bigger dreams than physical comfort. Bigger dreams than material wealth.
He doesn’t define “success” the way you and I do. He isn’t impressed by my money. He isn’t impressed by my home. He isn’t impressed by all of my ‘stuff’. As a matter of fact, I think He’s jealous of it, as He rightfully should be. I’m so surrounded, protected, shielded by my wall of ‘stuff’ that sometimes He can’t get as close as He wants to be. And when He tries to move my ‘stuff’…take it away…I get possessive of it and I actually dare to ask Him why He’s being so mean. Why would He take that away from me?
But He takes it away in order to draw near. He breaks down my wall not to hurt me, but so that He can get close enough to hold me.
Lord I want nothing more than to be close to you…no matter what it takes. This wealth makes me sick, yet I think it keeps me safe. It weighs me down, yet I think it sets me free. Move what needs to be moved…take away what needs to be taken away…so that you can get close enough for me to feel your breath…and hold me.